'Respect my decisions': Great aunt goes behind a mom's back when it comes to decisions about her 6-year-old daughter, loses babysitting nights as a result

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Mar 21, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Mom always has the final say when it comes to affairs with her daughter. At only 6 years old, the daughter in this next story was the center of a dueling family drama, where three matriarchs vied for authority over parenting decisions. But when Mama knows best, Mama knows best—and that's not to be questioned. 

In my family, my mom's decision was always final. When we wanted to break the rules a little bit, we'd ask Dad first, hoping he'd unwittingly slip and forget to say, 'Go ask your mom.' He rarely made that mistake of course, so inevitably, whenever we had some hair-brained scheme, Mom would be the final gauntlet of authority over it. 

'Mom, can we build a bike ramp into the canyon?'

'No.'

And that would be the end of it. However, when other adults in the family start undermining a mom's final say, things can get a little hairy and sometimes quite dramatic. Keep scrolling for the ultimatum that unfurled when a great aunt and grandma went behind mom's back with her little girl.

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    via jittawit21

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Parents know that other members of the family will inevitably try their hand at exerting authority over their kids. It's only natural. However, if they deliberately go behind your back to try and sneak out of something they know you'll disapprove of, that's crossing the line. 

    But this mom was ready to revoke visiting privileges as a punishment these matriarchs will never forget.

  • "AITA after telling my Aunt they can't respect my decisions then my kid can't come over anymore?"

    I(33F) have an Aunt(53F) who sometimes picks up daughter (6F) for over nights at her place. My daughter recently returned from one of those trips. During so
    via Somebodyoutthere91
  • I got a phone call about my daughter's toes being red and maybe the shoes being too small. My aunt was wanting to throw them out but I was going to pass them on to my younger niece(2F)
    via Somebodyoutthere91
  • as my kid hasn't worn those shoes much. My aunt's boyfriend said he was worried I would put them back in her, which I said I wouldn't if they were small but
    via Somebodyoutthere91
  • wanted them back to pass down to my niece. Turns out she decided to go to my mom (53F) for permission to pitch the shoes. My mom gave the blessing since she didn't know why I wanted
    via Somebodyoutthere91
  • them back. When my daughter was dropped off, my aunt dropped he and her stuff off quickly then bolted which was weird for her. As I was emptying my daughter's luggage I noticed
    via Somebodyoutthere91
  • said shoes were not in there. Daughter sad that they told her they were keeping the shoes for safe keeping but I found out the truth shortly after. I tried calling my Aunt but she is not answering.
    via Somebodyoutthere91
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • It's not just about the shoes but this has happened multiple times with other things because my mom said it was ok and her being my mom negates my decisions
    via Somebodyoutthere91
  • for MY daughter. AITA for saying if my decision can't be respected and if MY daughter can't return with everything she brought them she can't come over anymore?
    via Somebodyoutthere91
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    via jittawitt21

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  • Silaquix. NTA but your mom is also a problem. Why on earth would she give her opinion or permission when asked about something concerning your daughter? I think
    via Silaquix
  • you need to make it clear to both of them that you are the only authority when it comes to your daughter so if they don't have your permission then it shouldn't
    via Silaquix
  • happen. Drive it home that if your aunt goes to your mom to ask something, then your mom's only answer should be "that's up to OP".
    via Silaquix
  • Any_Art_1364 NTA, your aunt should have returned the shoes and never consulted your mother, and your mother should have directed your aunt back to you or asked you what about the shoes. You say
    via Any_Art_1364
  • this has happened before, time to set firm boundaries. Don't let your daughter stay overnight and tell her you want a replacement pair of shoes or it's theft. You can give these to your niece, and get
    via Any_Art_1364
  • an apology from aunt and the boyfriend, a genuine apology where they take accountability for what they did wrong. Tell aunt until this happens there will be no contact from you or your daughter. If anyone tries to interfere tell them to bat out
    via Any_Art_1364
  • bamf1701 NTA. But you don't just have an aunt problem - you have a Mom problem. You need to make it clear to Mom that she doesn't have the right to override your decision, especially since your aunt has pulled this trick multiple times.
    via bamf1701
  • Alarming_Pop9759 I can't quite bring myself to say you're NTA, because why do you continue to send your daughter for overnights at you're aunt's if your instructions have not been followed multiple times?
    via Alarming_Pop9759
  • This is a simple fix - she can't come over because you have overridden my instructions x# of times, and give specifics. If you don't get a handle on this your daughter will be coming home with pierced ears, or haircuts, or clothing in a style you do not allow...
    via Alarming_Pop9759
  • jxyvld. NTA honestly if your aunt can't respect what YOU decide she doesn't need to see your daughter going to your mom when you already said what you wanted to do with them is so annoying
    via jxyvld
  • notyoureffingproble Nta, but your relatives are... your mom sk, she needs to redirect your aunt to you everytime she calls, and your aunt needs to take you seriously about your kid.
    via notyoureffingproble
  • Kip_Schtum NTA They don't have the right to steal your property. Don't send your daughter over there anymore.
    via Kip_Schtum

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